Virtual Life Restored

I sit at my computer late in the night, pausing every once in a while to look up at the news displayed on my TV, and I contemplate late events in my life. This includes both the physical and virtual worlds of course.

As for general life, I am practically living with my boyfriend Matt now, usually spending the night for three to five nights a week. We celebrated our five weeks together tonight, slipping in a kiss as I reminded him. Matt, his roommate and I went to Joe Biden's rally at USF on Tuesday morning. I feel Joe Biden gave a great speech about the economy. After the speech, Matt and I went back to his apartment and filled out our absentee ballots for the November election, which I later mailed that evening. As always, I give Barack Obama my full support!

In relationships, I started talking to Ralphh again after not talking to him for several weeks and I feel we made up pretty well. I still have not talked to Brett, but I have politely tried to talk to him with little results (not that I'm too concerned). Last Saturday I was able to meet a few furries at the Castle. One of them is Charles, a great guy who nearly impossible to imagine in a non-pleasant mood.

In my work life, I recently received two more students to the class I watch. I now have a total of thirty two students in the group, one of which is handicapped. Earlier this week the handicapped student became upset over no visible reason, and decided to bite through his hand. Seeing this, I naturally panicked and froze. Luckily, one of my bosses was nearby and witnessed it happening and came to the aid quickly. Unfortunately we cannot simply kick the student out of the program even when we are not qualified to take care of him (Thank you american disability act). Luckily I will end my normal work schedule on October 17th and start my substitute teacher training on October 20th, eventually quiting the program I am in now on the 30th.

At school, things have been piling up rather quickly. I had to have my friend Kit Kitsune (another furry) help me with my first Introduction to Networking exam. Sadly, even when working together on it, we only scored a sixty five percent. I then took my last Computer Upgrade & Repair exam with Kit monitoring me in case I made any obviously incorrect answers. This resulted in a final exam score of ninety one percent and a final "A" grade for the class. I start my Advanced Computer Upgrade & repair on the twentieth. This also made it so I reached the thirty credit mark for my degree.

After calling GMs (Game Masters) in Final Fantasy XI today, and after much time talking with a Senior GM, I had my characters restored and my account fixed entirely. For all the final fantasy players reading this: thank you for your support and best wishes while I was gone. I expect to play less than I previously played before.

Well it's late, and I'm afraid I won't share anymore for tonight. Goodnight everyone.

Clarifying Blog Policies

Hey everyone!
Today's post really isn't a blog. It's more of a clarification. Recently I have recieved a comment saying quote:

"please take me off of this blog. if its not removed i will report you."

My response is simple. No.

It is my personal policy as a blogwriter not to retract any statement or post I have made in past blogs. There are many things you may not like about this blog, hell, there are many things I do not like about this blog, but under no circumstance will I undercut the authenticity of my personal recollection for you or even for myself.

About reporting me, please note the address bar says www.Kitosoma.com

That is a clear indication this is my blog, not yours, not Bloggers.

Although you cannot report me, there is a "Flag" feature you are free to use if you feel my blog is too "Adult Content". Blogger's official policy:

"It's our strong belief that blogs help make the Web an important medium of self-expression; Blogger has given a voice to millions of people. Our users gossip, joke, rant, publish, share, and on occasion might post potentially objectionable stuff. We generally do not review the content posted through our service but our responsibility extends beyond Blogger users to casual readers of Blog*Spot.

The Flag button is a means by which readers of Blog*Spot can help inform us about potentially questionable content, so we can prevent others from encountering such material by setting particular blogs as 'unlisted.' This means the blog won't be promoted on Blogger.com but will still be available on the Web — we prefer to keep in mind that one person's vulgarity is another's poetry. Or something like that.

For more serious cases, such as spam blogs or sites engaging in illegal activity, we'll continue to enforce our existing policies (removing content and deleting accounts when necessary)."

So by all means, spam that little flag button to your hearts content. Thank you for your continued interest in my blogs, but please refrain from trying to run it yourself.

Goodbye Tyler & Brett

After talking to a friend this evening, I feel he helped clear my mind on things that have added stress to my life as of late.

As always, I will be completely honest in my blog, and I will say as a disclaimer that it is not my intention to humiliate any individual I discuss.

My name is Kito. I am an 18-year old furry. I've been in love twice.
And I lost two friends that meant the world to me for years, all in a single month.

Tyler.
You were one of my best friends since the day I met you in my Freshman year of high school. You inspired me into learning Japanese and furthering my interest in computers and anime. One of which is now what i'm working to get my degree in. You helped me feel accepted being myself, even if I was more liberal than most. You were there when my life started crumbling in front of me. When Steve starting hurting me, you were the only one there to stand for me and say enough is enough. Thank You Tyler.

But there are characteristics in your personality I will forever view as very flawed.
You lied to others in front of me in every situation imaginable. You stole from others on a regular basis throughout our constant friendship in high school, denying any involvement even with solid evidence. You treaded on my personal feelings often, shrugging off what it meant to me. You disrespected my name on a daily basis even when I asked you to call me by my common name repeatidly. You stepped into Brett and I's relationship and contributed to the damage of a friendship. You had the nerve to accuse me of trying to steal your boyfriend from you, when it's obvious I would want nothing like that from him. You dissapointed me.

Brett:
You were the first person I said "I Love You" to without having fear of being beaten. You made me smile for four years, even when times became rough. You introduced me into politics. You were there for me no matter what time of day it was. You understood me more than anyone for a long time.

You hurt me on a constant basis. You would hold my heart, throw it on the ground, and stomp on it. You gave me false hope for a future with you for years. You were demeaning to me on common aspects. You told me you would never marry a furry. You made me drunk of guilt. You encouraged me to cheat on others. You blamed me for your own problems. You acted like the victim.

Before I started dating Matt this month, I told you it was time for me to grow up, and that the sexual relationship we had for years had to end. I think I made the right choice, knowing I can wake up next to my boyfriend, and know he's everything. That's what you will lack Brett.


I love you guys so much! You were amazing friends and I am so happy I was able to share my life with you two. I broke my connection to both of you in pursuit of a better life. Just know, that I really did and still do care about you guys. We had rough times together, enough to be unrepairable. But that's okay, life will go on even when we aren't there for each other.

Tyler, I never wanted your man.
Brett, I will never change for you.

Goodbye.

Jonathan's Imagination (#2)

It's been three years (and two days to be exact) since I have posted one of my good friend Kibble's chats with me. I found this very amusing to say the least.

[23:59] Kitosoma: I just got back from starbucks
[23:59] Kitosoma: did you know
[23:59] Kitosoma: if you get their rewards card
[23:59] Kitosoma: you get 2 hours free wifi there a day
[23:59] Kitosoma: free syrup and soy
[23:59] Kitosoma: free refills on brewed coffee and iced coffee
[23:59] Sirkibble007: its all shit to get you to spend more friggen money
[23:59] Kitosoma: no
[23:59] Sirkibble007: free my ass
[23:59] Kitosoma: you dont spend anymore
[00:00] Kitosoma: You just load money on your card
[00:00] Sirkibble007: they still get your soul
[00:00] Kitosoma: I really like it
[00:00] Sirkibble007: you're addicted now
[00:00] Sirkibble007: that craps worst then nicotine
[00:00] Kitosoma: I like Seattle's Coffee more
[00:00] Kitosoma: but they charge me $30 a month for wifi
[00:00] Kitosoma: and $0.65 for soymilk shots
[00:01] Sirkibble007: you pay to use wifi places
[00:01] Sirkibble007: that crap should be free yo
[00:01] Sirkibble007: its just waves and crap
[00:01] Sirkibble007: thats like having to pay for.... swimming
[00:01] Sirkibble007: in the ocean
[00:01] Sirkibble007: with porn
[00:01] Kitosoma: lol
[00:02] Sirkibble007: orgies and popups just swimmin aroun
[00:02] Sirkibble007: around*
[00:02] Sirkibble007: a lifeguard pops up... I see you like our coffee... WAIT no looking up orgies here!
[00:02] Kitosoma: LOL
[00:02] Sirkibble007: swim back to shore your poor free loader
[00:02] Sirkibble007: damn ... I'm tired

Three years later and I still love your insane imagination more than anything. <3

Summer of Change

I realize it’s been a long time since I have written a story or blog, but sometimes it’s more fun to experience life before writing about them. This summer has been one of which I will remember later in my life. I have experienced new events of tragedy and pain, as well as excitement and happiness.

First, I will continue what I left off.
My last blog sounded quite certain, wouldn’t you agree? Robb and I had an amazing time together, but in all honesty, it wouldn’t have worked out in the long run. I was too sure of everything and he was too unsure of everything, which can be quite the lethal combo. I planned to move to Columbus, Ohio with him in August (the current month). I bought a $300 plane ticket to visit him, which he said he would pay back in full, to make sure he was the person he was displaying himself to be. In the end, he broke up with me four days before the trip out of insecurity of something wrong happening and only paid for half the ticket. This left me financially and emotionally crippled for a while, but all I can do is move forward.

I started dating Jourdan on July 4th. Great relationship with a great guy I would label it as. He was an otaku also and loved his work, which to me is quite admirable. We went to Metrocon 2008 together July 18th to July 20th where he dressed up as Ishida from Bleach, and I dressed up as Maebara Keichii from When They Cry. Things started getting distant that weekend with all of his friends around. I wanted more attention from him, but it wasn’t something he could show with his friends I assume. We mutually broke up July 25th.

On July 23rd, I boarded a plane heading to Newburgh, New York to go see my long term online friends Crosis and Natsuchii, whom I met years ago playing Final Fantasy XI Online. They lived in the Village of Ellenville with a population of four thousand people, much smaller than I originally anticipated. The village was located in the center of a valley of surrounding mountains. The day I got there, Natsu found out she was pregnant and had a royal breakdown. She experienced morning sickness for the entire week I was there. For the first four days in their apartment, I did not leave the building. We watched more TV than I have watched in the last year, and played online video games. As a side note, I met a guy online named Ralph during this trip On the day before I left to go back to Tampa (Tuesday, July 29th), we went to Kingston about an hour away to visit the mall and stock up at the grocery store. The next morning I hugged them both at the tiny airport and said goodbye as I boarded the flight back to Tampa.

During my trip to New York, I started getting in touch with my furry side (see furry fandom). I was invited by my longtime friend and favorite barista Clayton to accompany him to a furry event called “Elliott’s Summer Celebration 2008”.

August 9th 2008, I went to my first furry event ever in Orlando, Florida. I stayed at Clayton’s apartment the night before. We even went and stocked up on vegan food for the weekend that Friday. While I was there it opened my eyes to many new things in the subculture known as “Furry Fandom”. I then found my fursona (which is your furry persona resembling an animal) that week: A Husky. I choose Husky for its active, positive, playful, and hyper personality, which I would like to think, resembles me. I made many new friends during that weekend. I made friends with Kurtsa (Fursona: Pink Cheetah), who took me out to eat at the Rainforest Café in downtown Disney for dinner Saturday night. On Sunday, I befriended another special person named Alex (Fursona: Meerkat) who was just as playful as I am, but smaller in size. We then spent Sunday at Wet N Wild Water Park in Orlando where Kurtsa, Alex, and I had a great time. Sadly it ended and I had to drive for almost two hours because I was driving from North Orlando.

And so that is how my summer of 2008 has treated me. What more could I ask for?

I'm Moving

Hey Everyone, Kito Here~!

First off, I wanted to explain the title of the Bulletin. As many of you know, I've been looking into moving. Well lately, something changed my outlook on everything. For my entire life, I've never really found someone that was similar to me. I guess I always felt a sense of loneliness, even when my best friends were with me (Although they have helped me so much! ). I'm gay, I'm a Vegan, I'm an advocate for politics, human rights, and animal welfare. These traits always seemed to turn off people. For example, my ex-partner and I struggled with religion differences and personal belief on an every day level. He thought I was in a cult for being Vegan of all things! I've constantly been dumped or dumped others for drastic differences in personal beliefs. I don't date non-vegetarians without experiencing extreme withdrawal from that individual, or the lack of caring for an animal. Comments like "Vegans are stupid hippies" or "It's just an animal, it has no feelings" from relationships in the past.

Well I'm very happy to say I think I've found the person right for me. After six months of casually knowing each other, almost a month of dating online (through hours of phone conversations and 'virtual dates' daily), I think I have found a person right for me.

The man's name is Robb: An amazing Vegan, Straight-Edge (No Alcohol or Drugs of any kind), animal & human rights advocate, and a truely compassionate person. Although I have been stressed over friendships breaking and forming lately, he has been there for me every step of the way. He is an inspiration to me in my daily life and keeps me moving forward. I will be visiting his city from June 19-23 just to see how life there is.

But you might be thinking "Aren't you going a little fast?". My Answer: Not at all. He's not only my boyfriend, but a good friend. We do not say the word "Love" in our relationship, as we both feel it is a sacred word. I feel our bond will become stronger in the future, and I am happy to announce officially of our plans to a brighter future:

In August or September, I will be moving to his city of
Columbus, Ohio

Some of you might be worried at this point. That's fine and it's only natural. My biggest concern was my Education, and after finding out my scholarship fund ended last semester, I did some research. At Columbus State Community College, Out-Of-State tuition is only $179 /Credit Hour. For those not in college, or those who have not been in college recently, this is an amazing price. After one year of residence that fee will drop to $79 /Credit Hour. Thank You all for your support as I begin this transition!

~Kito
キトソマ

Doors of Destiny - Dedicated to Brett

I feel I am a genuinely nice person to everyone who crosses my path. That pretty much would sum up everything I would like to say. Unfortunately, I don’t want to stop while I’m ahead.

Life lately feels as if it is a series of decisions, decisions that are destined to alter my life forever. I open one door of life, but at the same time I will simultaneously close many others. Just the thought of this philosophical process is enough to drive me mad. Is what I do today going to affect me thirty years from now?

Regardless of whether it may be fortunate or unfortunate, the same process integrates with my relationships with others, it being friendship or to the level of a deep love. As an example, the fact I became vegan opened many different walks of life to me, many of which I am grateful; But at the same time it may have written the last page of a deep loving relationship I had with my ex-partner. How would you label such an event? Would it be a blessing, or maybe a terrible loss? Only the persons it affected may decide that.

So now my adult life begins. I am a legal adult now and I feel as if I am already pressured into many scenarios at once. Finances are becoming scarce to me, relationships on many levels are forming and breaking, and I’m left with the burning question that haunts me daily: What doors should I open and what doors should I close next?

On the relationship level, my relationship with one of my best friends seems to deteriorate further and further. Can I even call it a friendship anymore? He’s one of two people I have ever said “I love you” to. That was a door I chose to open in my life, one that closed many others. I have struggled to keep things placid between us with nothing but failing results. It brings to mind yet another question: Once you step through a door, can you go step back through it, shutting that part of your life out of existence?

The answer is a simple no. Once you step through a path of life, you can’t turn back and run away. I’ll face my pain, my fear, my loneliness that I brought upon myself by opening that door. I can stand on my own two feet without help. You are my desire to move on, to push past it all. There is yet another door waiting to be opened. So after all these questions I ask of you one more: What door should I open?

~Dedicated to Brett Bruhanski, the second love of my life.

Goodbye Sammy

Dusk had approached as the man stood looking through the glass door to his back porch. The Golden Retriever on a leash was looking very ill, staring at his watcher with a look that was unfamiliar to both of them. Something was wrong in this picture, almost a looming feeling in the air. The man opened the glass door and stepped out quickly approaching his dog. Something was very wrong. The Retriever looked at the man for a moment and stumbled over onto the concrete floor as he approached.

The man rushed over and held onto the head of his friend, but already noticed that the eyes of the animal had started to roll backwards. Dark yellow urine began to flow from underneath him as tears began to flow down the man’s face.

The stairs to their home had never felt so hard to climb before as he ran for help. “Mom, come quick!” he yelled as he began to run back downstairs. She opened her phone after seeing him on the floor, and tears began to flood her eyes. “Where are you?” she cried in a hoarse voice into the phone. The man knew she was talking to his step-father.

His head was still moving and his eyes gained a more natural look. “He’s still alive!” she said. The man knew it would be over any minute. He held his friend’s fur and cried. “I love you, I love you, I love you. Please don’t leave me!” the man said repeatedly hugging the dog.

But he still died.

Sammy died at 7:52 PM on April 29, 2008 in his owner’s arms. I love you Sammy, Rest In Peace.

~Kito

Cruelty Is life

His legs were crossed on the coffeehouse patio early in the evening, something that was not an unusual occurrence for the man. The breeze was a bit cool, but nothing a Floridian couldn't handle. Emptiness seemed to winning the war that had been raging inside him for so long.

Is life like a dark room, where only glimpses of light shine through? Is it just a long path of nothing with bursts of happiness along the way. You see, the problem with light, is that it always seems to fade. When you replace a bulb in your home, you attempt to buy the brand that will last the longest, for once the filament burns out, it will be dark again. When you light a candle, surely you know the wick will eventually die out.

Now you may say "What about the sun? The sun won't die out!". Oh but it will come to an end! In ten billion years the sun's light will die out and there will be nothing that follows. In this way, it's easy to understand that when something (and in fact anything) begins, it is already doomed to end.

It feels as if life is a toy that is played with among the world. Something so precious is given to everything so alive, yet by nature's law it must be ripped away at some time or another. They say "Life is cruel", yet I must disagree. The maker, may it be god or nature, is the real source of cruelty.

The latte the man held became cold as the minutes passed, the scent slowly dissipating.

Overlooking Promise

The air was cold against the man’s light skin as he stared across the open bay, the breeze pushing his blonde hair from his face. The stone bench beneath him, stained with algae from the moisture, had suited the man more than he had first expected. A light silhouette shone out in the distance, matching with the stars that stood out from the sky. Five minutes had passed since the large hand of his Seiko watch on his wrist hit nine, but it seemed so late into the night already.

To his right was a man of darker skin with black hair that was no longer than an inch or so. The smell of salt seemed to cause a sort of calmness to the spot, a natural piece of the world in a way. Sand had already managed to coat their legs, a last blessing from the breeze of the bay. But none of this mattered to either of the persons. Their hands clasped together in between them, still overlooking the water. A life eternal with the one they love. The promise they had given each other but such a distant time ago. The starlight seemed to shine for the couple as their lips touched, forming a soft kiss.

A Black Labrador’s bark echoed across the sand, its tail wagging with delight. The man of blonde hair called for his dog to return to his side, which it obliged happily. With one hand he rubbed the head of man’s best friend, and the other had come to rest in his partner’s grasp. The man of black hair pulled his partner to his feet and pulled him along the sand, kicking off their shoes in delight. They tackled each other near the shore, submitting to the kisses they gave to each other. The lab had joined in the pile in the clammy sand, licking its owner’s face clean. The man with blonde hair had stood to his feet and walked to the water. With his hands cupped together, he scooped cold water into the basin of his palms.

As he splashed his face with the water, he had sensed something wrong. The man awoke from his dream in a few blinks. He sat up in his bed and looked out of the window’s frame over the beach’s water. There was no dogs bark to be heard, and no one’s hand clasped to his. On the counter a stack of paper’s had laid beneath some books. The man of blonde hair didn’t need to read the paper to know what it said, “waterfront apartment, roommate needed”.